I was sleeping in my dream
maybe that’s how I knew it was a dream
I rolled over and inhaled the smell of aftershave
on pillows and realized I was in your room
in the morning when we woke
your retriever bounded in the door
of the granny-flat, throws her weight on top of me.
my two favourite girls you say,
then you shower, mouthwash, shave,
make breakfast in your house near the sea
with nobody except your dog, an imaginary you,
and a little part of me.
When I wake I think I’m still there
but I’m not where I thought I was
my bedroom is cold and cramped in a city apartment,
a car alarm outside wakes me with a start
my neck is stiff from the singleness of this bed.
I sit up and can see myself in the reflection
of my mirror in the dark. Just me.
I roll over and ignore, just before I fall back asleep,
I wonder to myself if everyone has
that same split second of splendid
between waking and dreams
where everything is the way it used to be,
before reality come crashing in like a tidal wave.
I dread falling back asleep.